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Funny Status for Whatsapp, Facebook | Short Funny Quotes:

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Best Funny Status for Whatsapp & Facebook

I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out!!!

If Sunny Leone marries Sunny Deol, she will also become Sunny Deolย ๐Ÿ˜›ย ๐Ÿ˜€ย ๐Ÿ˜›ย ๐Ÿ˜€

Dear LOL and Hamm, Thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.ย ๐Ÿ˜€

Dear Sleep! I Know We Had Problems When I Was Younger! But NOW I Lubbb youย ๐Ÿ˜€

Our generation doesnโ€™t ring the doorbellโ€ฆwe text or call to say weโ€™re outsideโ€ฆ

We live in WTF generation โ€“ Wikipedia, twitter, facebook

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. :p

When people donโ€™t laugh at my jokes I just assume that theyโ€™re not up to my level of comedy.

I follow the quote, โ€œAlways be true to yourselfโ€ because I only lie to othersโ€ฆย ๐Ÿ˜›ย ๐Ÿ˜€

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out!!!

  • Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

  • Fact: Phone on silent mode – 10 Missed call.. Turns volume to loud – Nobody calls all day!!

  • Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

  • You can never buy Love… But still you have to pay for it.

  • If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.

  • Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

  • I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

  • A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

  • My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death!

  • When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians.

  • Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped ๐Ÿ™‚

  • When you reach the end of your rope,tie a knot in it and hang on..

  • You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.

  • Last seen 1980! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about.. Mannequins. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

  • I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

  • Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

  • Life is Short – Chat Fast! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

  • If life gives you lemons, just add v0dka.

  • How can i miss something i never had?

  • Hey there whatsapp is using me.

  • Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

  • Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

  • Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet.

  • I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!

  • ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  โ–บ NEW FUNNY STATUS QUOTES:

    Save water drink beer. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

  • 6 Peg Loading .. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software.. it’s called #Monday, please fix it

  • Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

  • God is really creative, i mean.. just look at me ๐Ÿ˜›

  • Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

  • When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the.

  • I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

  • My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

  • Life is too short smile while you still have teeth.

  • My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

  • If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

  • Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley.

  • Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

  • I Like to study.. Arithmetic – NO … world history – NO …. chemistry – NO …. GIRLS – YES!

  • Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! ๐Ÿ˜›

  • People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p

  • In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!

  • C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)

  • Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

  • People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

  • Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

  • It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.

  • Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.

  • When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

  • I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time.. lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

  • The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is.. Salary is Credited ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

  • Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

  • Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

  • Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

  • Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

  • Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

  • We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

  • It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world.. huh

  • Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.

  • I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz

  • The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight ๐Ÿ™‚

  • In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31

  • I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

  • I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

  • TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

  • At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.

  • Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.

  • I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.

  • When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

  • Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

  • If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

  • I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

  • A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

  • When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

  • My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.

  • One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice ๐Ÿ™‚

  • If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.

  • If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them ๐Ÿ™‚

  • All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.

  • Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.

  • Excuse me.. Plesae empty your pockets.. I think you stole my heart.

  • I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture ๐Ÿ™‚

  • The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.

  • I look at people sometimes and think.. Really?? That’s the sperm that won ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.

  • How do people write an auto biography!! I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Nothing is illegal until you get caught ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.

  • Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.

  • The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them ๐Ÿ™‚

  • God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

  • Friday is my second favorite F word.

  • For all the girls that say.. All guys are the same.. Who told you to try them ALL.

  • Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it’s the first time he saw her. And Im that ONE GUY ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I think I got a fever, a fever of you ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

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